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The Writings of Robert Rankin

 

The Writings of Robert Rankin
Below is the complete listing of Robert Rankin's novels, in chronological order, with a brief description and a picture from the cover (to help you to find them in the bookshops).
We are now associated with Amazon.co.uk, so if you are thinking of buying Rankin books online, why not use the links below to make a bit of money for the fan club. All proceeds go towards making Sproutlore better.
Please note that all cover artwork is the copyright of Robert Rankin and Transworld Publishers.

 

Robert Rankin's Novels
The Antipope
Pan; Paperback; 1981; 249pp; ISBN: 0330265032
Corgi; Paperback; Feb 1992; 288pp; ISBN: 055213841X
Life's main concern is where the next pint is coming from - as long as it's someone else's round. So when a strange old beggar and his five magic beans threaten life as we know it, you'd want to do the right thing and fight for what you believe in. Wouldn't you?
Now, it's your round, I think!
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The Brentford Triangle
Pan; Paperback; 1982, 192pp; ISBN: 0330268481
Corgi; Paperback; Aug 1992; 240pp; ISBN: 0552138428
When you're the Admiral in charge of an alien invasion fleet, it's good to know that you're on your way home. But when your home is the fifth planet, the one between Mars and Jupiter, you're going to be pretty pissed off...
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East Of Ealing
Pan; Paperback; 1984; 192pp; ISBN: 0330282301
Corgi; Paperback; Dec 1992; 288pp; ISBN: 0552138436
When, one by one, your friends are being replaced by androids, you may start to worry. Will you be next? Will your replacement live up to your reputation? Most importantly, will there be a place for beer in the new world order?
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The Sprouts of Wrath
Abacus; Paperback; 1984; 248pp; ISBN: 0349100276
Corgi; Paperback; Sep 1993; 288pp; ISBN: 0552138444
Imagine your worst nightmares. Now try to imagine something even more horrible. Now imagine having to work for a living.
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Click here for "The First Five", showing the original covers of the Brentford Trilogy.
Armageddon: The Musical
Bloomsbury; Hardback; 1988; 243pp; ISBN: 0747505152
Corgi; Paperback; Feb 1991; 336pp; ISBN: 0552136816
If you lived in a society where you get paid according to the number of hours' television you watch, you mightn't have much difficulty fitting in. And if you'd developed a technique for sleeping with your eyes open, you could become very wealthy indeed. Imagine your dismay, then, when you're forced to work for one of the TV networks.
Read our review of this book.
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They Came And Ate Us
Armageddon II: The B Movie
Bloomsbury; Hardback; 1991; 278pp; ISBN: 0747508186
Corgi; Paperback; April 1992; 336pp; ISBN: 0552138320
If you discovered the planet Earth was about to suffer complete mechanical failure, you'd want to do something about it, wouldn't you? But if all the people who are in a position to make real changes about it are inaccessable, lost in red tape and beaurocracy, who do you turn to?
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The Suburban Book Of The Dead
Armageddon III: The Remake
Bloomsbury; Hardback; 1992; 262pp; ISBN: 0747511659
Corgi; Paperback; June 1993; 320pp; ISBN: 0552139238
And when the ark was finished Noah said unto Elvis, "What do you reckon?"
And Elvis checked out his own cabin and shook his head saying "pokey".
And so did they knock several walls through and install a jaccuzzi.
And when it was all done Noah scratched his beard and said, "We don't have room for all the animals now."
And Elvis perused the livestock list and in his wisdom said, "Lose the dinosaurs."
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The Book Of Ultimate Truths
Doubleday; Hardback; Oct 1993; 272pp; ISBN: 0385404137
Corgi; Paperback; Apr 1994; 352pp; ISBN: 055213922X
Imagine discovering that the man you know and love as your father isn't your father. And then meeting your real father and discovering you can't stand his guts. That sort of think might just make you a teeny bit resentful. But when he goes missing, you'd still try to find and rescue him, wouldn't you? He is family, after all. And, of course, there's the publisher offering you large sums of money to find him so they can publish his book.
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Raiders Of The Lost Car Park
Doubleday; Hardback; Apr 1994; 272pp; ISBN: 0385404151
Corgi; Paperback; Oct 1994; 352pp; ISBN: 0552138339
Have you ever taken a map of the world, and tried to fit it on to a globe? Well, it won't fit. In fact, you need to make the globe about a third bigger before it will fit. The reason is that a sizeable portion of the planet is hidden in "Forbidden Zones". These Forbidden Zones contain all sorts of treasures, if only you could find them...
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The Greatest Show Off Earth
Doubleday; Hardback; Oct 1994; 284pp; ISBN: 0385404190
Corgi; Paperback; Apr 1995; 320pp; ISBN: 0552139246
How'd you like to be taken away to Venus by a flying Starfish? Well, not very much once you discovered the Venusians considered your private parts a delicacy...
Read our review of this book.
The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived
Doubleday; Hardback; Apr 1995; 267pp; ISBN: 0385405146
Corgi; Paperback; Oct 1995; 317pp; ISBN: 0552142115
The final thrilling part of the Cornelius Murphy saga.
Imagine if you could change history. Imagine if you could be reincarnated into your own body, at the moment of your birth, with all your memories intact so you could correct your mistakes, over and over again. You could bet on all the winners, make astute financial investments. You'd be a very wealthy and powerful individual. Or you'd be the very devil himself. In fact, you'd be the most amazing man who ever lived, that's who you'd be.
Read our review of this book.
The Garden Of Unearthly Delights
Doubleday; Hardback; Oct 1995; 253pp; ISBN: 0385405154
Corgi; Paperback; Apr 1996; 317pp; ISBN: 0552142123
Your toaster's stopped working. Your TV's behaving a bit oddly too. In fact nothing seems to be working quite as it should. Except for the dog. He's started talking. The age of science and technology is coming to an end. In its place comes a new age of magic and mysticism...
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A Dog Called Demolition
Doubleday; Hardback; Apr 1996; 251pp; ISBN: 0385405162
Corgi; Paperback; Oct 1996; 317pp; ISBN: 0552142131
Portrait of a surreal killer.
Danny's not sad and lonely any more. Not since he's had "The Voices". They tell him what to do. How to reprogram the supermarket bar codereaders to read people's thoughts. How to become rich, and famous, and popular with girls. Danny's not sad and lonely any more... he's completely bonkers!
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Nostradamus Ate My Hamster
Doubleday; Hardback; Oct 1996; 253pp; ISBN: 038540705X
Corgi; Paperback; June 1997; 320pp; ISBN: 0552143553
In his search for the missing pub of Brentford, the now legendary Flying Swan, Raymond stumbles upon an evil plan to take over the world. But when you're up against Hitler, time machines and hoardes of spineless immortals, what chance have you?
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Sprout Mask Replica
Doubleday; Hardback; June 1997; 252pp; ISBN: 0385407068
Corgi; Paperback; Dec 1997; 350pp; ISBN: 0552143561
There is a theory which says that all original ideas in the Universe stem from a single person, the Alpha Man, who subconsciously compensates for everything which happens around the world. But what if the Alpha Man knew he could do all this? He could use his powers to make the world a better place... Or he could become very rich indeed.
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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre
Doubleday; Hardback; Dec 1997; 269pp; ISBN: 0385407076
Corgi; Paperback; Jun 1998; 365pp; ISBN: 055214357X
What if you could steal the Turin Shroud, scrape off some blood and clone Jesus? And not just one; clone half a dozen, so that all the world's major religions could have one each. Of course the Turin Shroud is probably a fake, and if so there's no telling who (or what) you might end up with...
Read our review of this book.
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The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag
Doubleday; Hardback; Jun 1998; 254pp; ISBN: 0385409206
Corgi; Paperback; Dec 1998; 335pp; ISBN: 0552145807
Suppose you wanted to take over the world, what would do? Well, if you could write a computer program that every computer in the world depended on, you might be able to hide something in it that would bring the world to its knees. And if your name happened to be Bill Gates, you might have already done this.
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Apocalypso
Doubleday; Hardback; Dec 1998; 271pp; ISBN: 0385409435
Corgi; Paperback; July 1999; 364pp; ISBN: 0552145890
If you moved down to Brighton to take over the Bookshop you inherited when your Uncle died, you'd expect a nice quiet life. You wouldn't expect your dead uncle to start making mysterious appearances. And you certainly wouldn't expect fanatical terrorists to start buzzing the natives in helicopters.
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Snuff Fiction
Doubleday; Hardback; July 1999;
Corgi; Paperback; Dec 1999; 360pp; ISBN: 0552145904
With all the hassle smokers get nowadays, it's hardly worth it. It's time to move on to something else. Something which doesn't bother anybody else.Yes, snuff is about to make its biggest ever comeback. And the guy who came up with that one is going to be a very wealthy individual.
Read our review of this book.
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Click here for the controversial story of the Snuff Fiction covers.
Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls
Doubleday; Hardback; Dec 1999; 271pp; ISBN: 0385600569
Corgi; Paperback; July 2000; 382pp; ISBN: 0552147419
It's always been your secret ambition to be a rock star. Come on, admit it, isn't it everyone's? And if you don't have what it takes to be a rock star, you might just settle for being manager of a top rock act. So when you spot an up-and-coming new band, you just might use your influence to persuade them that you're the new Brian Eno. The last thing you'll be expecting, then, is for the band's lead singer to be Satan's own sister...
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Waiting for Godalming
Doubleday; Hardback; Oct 2000; 264pp; ISBN: 0385600577
Corgi; Paperback; June 2001; 382pp; ISBN: 0552147419
God's other son, Colin, who was edited out of the Bible when Jesus got artistic control, is a bit pissed off. Well wouldn't you be, with your brother stealing the lime-light like that? But now God's been murdered, and there's no way Colin's gonna let the meek inherit the Earth. He's in charge now, and there's gonna be some changes around here...
Read our review of this book.
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Web Site Story
Doubleday; Hardback; June 2001; 285pp; ISBN: 0385600585
Corgi; Paperback; Nov 2001; 388pp; ISBN: 0552147435
Everyone likes that nice Mr. Doveston. In fact they all like his so much, they've elected him to the post of Prime Minister. And as a student in the teachings of Hugo Rune, Mr. Doveston knows just how to sort the country out from the ground up. And it all starts with footwear...
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Fandom of the Operator
Doubleday; Hardback; Nov 2001; 288pp; ISBN: 0385602561
Young hero or anti-hero Gary Cheese grows up in a warped 1950s Brentford with two main interests: death, and the Lazlo Woodbine private-eye novels (see Waiting for Godalming) by PP Penrose. When this revered author dies, it's only logical that Gary and his bestest friend Dave should plan to crash the wake and reanimate him with voodoo.
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Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse 
Gollancz; Hardback; Sep 2002; 336pp; ISBN: 0575073136
Gollancz; Paperback; Aug 2003; 352pp; ISBN: 0575074019
The time is now, the place is just around the corner from reality and Magic is the new Rock 'n' Roll: 21st century high-tech designer magic. It's finely tuned, personalised and very exclusive. It will cost you an arm and a leg and possibly even your soul, but it's real and it works.
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The Witches of Chiswick The Witches of Chiswick
Gollancz; Hardback; Aug 2003; 336pp; ISBN: 0575073144
Henry Ford wasn't wrong when he said that, "history is bunk". He could still remember the days when the wireless transmission of energy had powered motorcars, mighty airships and space cruisers. And when Britannia ruled not only the waves, but all of the Earth and much of the cosmos besides. Have you ever wondered how Victorians such as Jules Verne and H.G. Wells managed to dream up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That War Of The Worlds was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo's Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man? No? Then what about the other stuff?
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Knees Up Mother Earth
Gollancz; Hardback; 5 Aug 2004; 336pp; ISBN: 0575073152
Stretching the Brentford Trilogy to seven volumes, this book sees the return of Pooley and Omally and all our old favourites. The Brentford football ground is in trouble, and our heroes are prepared to do whatever it takes to save it.
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Coming in Aug 2004:
The Brightonomicon
Gollancz; Hardback; 5 Aug 2004; 336pp; ISBN: 0575073152
The eigth volume of the Brentford Trilogy. Features Jim Pooley’s missing year, when he teams up with Hugo Rune to solve twelve cases in Brighton, upon which the future and past of mankind naturally depend. The cases involve The Brighton Zodiac, mystical figures formed from the streets of Brighton and discovered by Rune in his fight to beat Count Otto Black to find The Chronovisor, a television set built in the nineteen fifties by a Benidicteen Monk for The Pope, on which you can view past events.
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